Maybe lipo isn't so bad

My thighs don't hurt much anymore - they are still turning lovely colors but in general not painful. All in all this surgery seems more an excuse for me to have a lazy weekend than a true need to recover. I'll take it. Btw people do assure me real liposuction is actually more painful. They use a small tube and didn't take much.

Goodbye mediport

Just wanted to blog to let folks know I had my (hopefully) last surgery today. It went really well, I think. The mediport is out :) fat was filled and a nipple was built. In the end I didn't get to decide where the fat was taken from - he took from my outer thighs which feel like I was beaten up. Toying with the idea of setting up a pool over what color they will be on what day. Right now they are reddish but I'm guessing black and blue by the weekend. My legs are the only area that hurt and it really isn't bad and I have pills to take.

Tracy took me to the hospital and spent the day. There probably are easier ways to have quality time but hanging out and watching bad tv was pretty fun.

Anyway will post more when I'm willing to use my computer on my lap or i decide sitting at a table is okay. Now it's time to take percocet and Ativan and go to sleep.

Thanks for supporting me through this whole process. Sweet dreams.

I'm okay but bad things do come in threes

I spoke to my surgeon's assistant who had my radiologist report from my mri and everything looked normal. She said they look at it when it comes in and if anything was odd they definitely would call me before my appointment.

Of course prior to my kind of paranoid call I found out another person I know just had a biopsy come back positive for cancer. Yuck - cancer really does suck.

Kim

Trying hard not to freak out

Sorry I've been so lax in blogging - life got busy and I wasn't sure I had much to report. I am waiting to go to G-town for an MRI (to confirm things are still on track) and should be getting some long overdue work done, but... I found out this weekend about two cases of recurrence. My friend Elizabeth's mother's cancer has come back (again) and while trawling my friend's kid blog, I found out another person she knows just found out she has tumors from invasive breast cancer (after battling inflammatory breast cancer a few years ago). It might be good that it is new and not that the original breast cancer had metastasized but it seems patently unfair to have invasive breast cancer after you don't have breasts. (It was in her lymph nodes.)So my prayers and thoughts are with Whymom - someone I don't know but seems totally kickass and amazing and the folks in Chicago who have done this too many times already.

So I'm mainly sending out good thoughts for both of them that this time around things go as smoothly as can be hoped for each of them and counting on a clear mri.

Just hanging around waiting for the snow

I don't have much to report, but folks have commented about my lack of posting. I am doing reasonably well. I've gone for walks most days and while apparently on some non-east coast time (I don't seem able to wake up before 8:30 or 9) I seem to manage to fill my days.

Yesterday I got my hair cut, ate sushi and answered some e-mails about a contract and some other random work related stuff. While having high hopes for organizing - and after making some good progress when Ellen and Michele were here, things seem to have leveled off. Instead, I seem to be filling my time reading random things on-line, playing on-line scrabble and watching incredibly geeky things like this, or the President addressing the republican party, or this trailer. Note Len's appearance towards the end.

Yes I said it was geeky.

Otherwise, I'm planning on going back to work part-time next week and have scheduled a trip to visit my sister and her family next weekend. I have put together clothing options - yoga pants or sweat pants (though they look nice) and long sweaters, or dresses and boots. The key is avoidance of any waistbands on my scar but yes it is fairly reminiscent of the 80's. I'm resisting the urge to add leg-warmers.

I've also been spending time e-mailing with my niece - and trying to get her to use actual words instead of text speak. But now that I've brought up bad 80s fashion, maybe I need to cut her some slack.

Anyway - I'm doing okay - happy for phone calls if folks are bored and I have a goal to get rid of my waste products tomorrow. (They are still sitting in my trunk, DC lets you drop things off on Saturdays - last Saturday I didn't do it due to traffic disruptions and this week I might be put off by the snow.)

Of course I have been waiting for the snow allday and now they say it isn't coming until tomorrow - we'll see if it amounts to much.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Kim

A mile....

After feeling pretty good most days since surgery, I woke up today feeling pain, with sharp aches in my stomach and breast if i moved wrong. Perhaps I have been doing too much: walking a mile yesterday and participating in too many organizational projects may be part of the problem (others did the heavy lifting - literally - but I probably have been bending and using my stomach muscles more than I should have). Or it could be the sudden change in weather. But the sadness seems mainly related to the Massachusetts election and what it means for health care reform.

I know people are angry that things don't seem to be getting done/or too much money is being spent. And while the stereotype of Massachusetts is all elitist liberals in Boston and Cambridge, it's a diverse place with lots of blue collar workers and, unfortunately, many people out of work. This is a place that has regularly voted for Republican governors. And I can't believe a candidate for office in MA can know less about Boston sports legends than I do. Would it have killed Coakley to help that guy up or shake some hands? But weren't these people out in the streets this summer mourning Teddy Kennedy's passing in the pouring rain? This wasn't a perfect bill, but this was in part his dream.

I can't help thinking this is going to turn into yet another missed opportunity to reform health care and insure more folks. Yes, the bill isn't perfect and the process has been ugly and MA basically was going to have to pay a lot of money and get very little in return as they ALREADY had better coverage than the federal proposal. The bill was written so states that had made the most progress in insuring low-income folks were given the least cash. Yes, you did the right thing in the past so we might as well penalize you for it.

And I keep thinking about Rani, the uninsured woman who was diagnosed 4 months after me and passed away right after Christmas. Yes, she might have delayed going to the doctor anyway, or her cancer may have been aggressive and the outcome could have been the same. But I just keep coming back to the statistics and the fact that low-income people seem to die at much higher rates than higher-income people from the same diseases and lack of coverage and early treatment must play a role.

Maybe people in DC will take this as an anti-business as usual mandate and maybe there can be some actual bipartisanship or reform, but I don't think so. The republicans are gleeful and I am not sure what the dems are doing.

So, apparently the MA voters managed to do what the Haiti earthquake had not, depressed me so much that I have turned off NPR.

The best discussion of the race was on the Daily Show two days ago.

And just because it was on last night and makes me happy - you can watch the Colin Firth interview too.

Drain free and apparently ready to rock

Went to the plastic surgeon this morning and everything is continuing to look really good. They took out my 2 remaining drains and even snipped all my external non-dissolving stiches and basically sent me on my way until 5 or 6 weeks when they'll check on my progress. We'll schedule the final surgery for probably 5- or 6 weeks after that. (Things look so good that there seems like there will be minimal reshaping necessary, so he'll be building a nipple and possibly doing some lifting and - drum roll please - he'll take out my mediport.) The doc is ready for me to do most things I feel up to (with the exception of exercise). I can walk and do some stretching and range of motion arm excercises but any serious activity is still 5 or 6 weeks away.

Now a brief tribute to my mediport. While I was willing to let my lovely friend be taken out earlier, Dr. N would rather avoid another procedure and, given my low blood pressure and tempermental veins, I think they'd like to have the option to access it to get some fluid in me to begin the surgery. (Once fluid gets pumped in, they'll be able to access a vein and disconnect the mediport.) It has been my favorite thing and made this process doable - that is besides my great doctors and medical team and, of course, you guys. Having the port has made this process much easier, and I can't imagine how much tougher it all would have been if they would need to have found a vein for both blood work and chemo. Indeed in the middle of chemo it seemed like getting the little bit of blood needed for blood tests was almost impossible from my veins. For those who need treatment or might know folks who need treatment, I can't stress enough how useful it's been.

In some ways I can't believe its only been a week since surgery. I feel pretty good - although worse today due to the hospital visit. Apparently having things snipped and removed is hard work. We went for a walk earlier today and yesterday. Otherwise I seem to have spent much of the week flitting between the 3 books and 4 magazines and my computer that all seem to reside in the bed with me. BTW if anyone is going in for surgery I have to suggest getting an i-phone or blackberry--e-mailing was way easier on something that weighs so little and was easy to use while in the hospital and this week.

Otherwise, I'm mainly hanging out, listening to too much npr, and trying hard to limit how many times I donate to Partners in Health or Doctors Without Borders. I've been told the narcotics make folks free and easy with the credit cards and donating to the folks in Haiti is about as good a way to spend money as I can think of.

I can't help feeling blessed and thankful for my doctors and what I have and feel so bad that folks and a country that has been struggling for so long has to deal with this on top of everything else.

My other big news is I will start wearing pants again- the drains are out so I really don't have an excuse - and quite frankly I'm way more likely to start showing up in belly shirts - also age-inappropriate but my tummy is quite the work of art.


Special thanks to Ellen for being a great caretaker this week even if I didn't need that much tending. It was great to hang out and it seems like at least a few closets or rooms will be more orderly for the visit.

Have a good weekend, be thankful for what you have and say a prayer for those facing such hardship.

Kim

A draining experience

Things are still going pretty well. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday - my healing seems to be going pretty well. Dr. H. took out one of my three drains and I'm supposed to go back in Friday or next Tuesday to remove the other 2 drains. I am healing great and apparently am a rock star. So apparently if nothing else works out, I might be able to be a professional patient.

Getting up, getting dressed and going to the hospital wore me out for the rest of the day. I blame it on having to wear pants but it might be the fact that there was walking around. We'll see, the rest of you might be in some trouble if I decide a la Lady Gaga that pants are just overrated. Sunday was also apparently pantsless day on Muni, so apparently I really am just part of a bigger movement.

I spent much of the rest of the afternoon napping and then had a lovely dinner with Ellen and Rosanne. Sleeping was okay and today's exciting agenda includes showering and washing my hair and potentially getting back to the organizing of my closet and financial records. (A Monday evening activity.) Apparently a problem (side benefit?) with having great friends come take care of me and my not doing that badly, and them having excellent organizational skills, means side projects of trying to make order of the chaos of my life. Getting the guest closet organized and putting my piles of medical records into some semblance of order will be a bonus. Apparently this might be a bonus from cancer - the clearing out of 20 years of random paper.

Otherwise - woke up to hear the news about Haiti and hope things aren't as terrible as it seems to be. A major earthquake in California is horrible, when infrastructure is shaky to begin with it just seems likely to be devastating. I just gave an additional donation to Partners In Health - a great charity that already has a sizable presence in Haiti. If you are wondering about sending me something, know I am well taken care of and would love a redirect of funds to them or another group providing support.


Yours in pantslessness
Kim

Sitting upright and willing to use an actual computer

Hi, sorry for the delay in posting though I am hoping I have spoken or been in touch with most of you via phone or e-mail. E-mailing from my i-phone seemed much more doable than actually using a computer. Thanks to Melissa for giving updates, and the folks who have come by and visited and managed to take care of my laundry and luggage and transportation needs. (Melissa, Tracy, Rosanne, Sue and Cori and Eric.) I am still amazed with how good I feel. There is some discomfort but it seems totally manageable with the assorted narcotics at my disposal.

The surgery went well and I was very pleased with how the breast looked when I woke up.

The various doctors and folks who visited said the vein and artery looked good and matched up well with the connecting vein and artery in my breast. It all looks rather lovely and well shaped. In some ways the hardest part was the inability for me to eat or drink from Wednesday night through Friday morning. The reports about my inability to talk had more to do with my mouth being incredibly dry and my lips sticking to my teeth and throat being scratchy from being intubated during surgery and wasn't related to pain. I did have incredibly low blood pressure reading Friday morning but that all resolved once food and more importantly coffee was allowed to pass through my lips.

I spent Thursday night in ICU with my own nurse for most of the evening - she came in and checked the pulse in my breast every 15 minutes, then every half hour and finally every hour. In ICU I was attached to at least 6 different sets of monitoring devices including my lovely morphine pump. Pressing a button every 8 minutes is kind of fun. I didn't get much sleep Thursday night but watched a lot of the food network in case anyone has questions.

Friday they had me attached to less things and some physical therapists came by and we walked around the hall. I also lapped the floor with Cori. Getting up seemed to be okay and I was mostly just grateful that the pain seemed totally manageable. My doctors all seemed pretty pleased with how I was doing. I ended up having a free-tram flap rather than a diep flap. This means they transplanted part of my muscle. In the DIEP Flap, they excavate the vein and artery out of th muscle and follow it to the larger connecting veins and arteries. Given my tempermental veins and arteries Dr. N decided keeping the vein and artery in the muscle and taking the small portion where they sat was the more prudent move. It meant a more stable donor site I think and let him take a larger amount of fat tissue. He said the amount of muscle taken was minimal and should not affect my ability to do crunches or pilates going forward.

In any case, the strength of the connection and pulse after surgery was great and it meant the reconnection went really well despite my getting radiation. (Something that can complicate the surgery.)

Saturday midday I was moved to a regular floor, 7Bles, which was where I recuperated after surgery number 1 (lumpectomy). I recognized a number of the nurses and they were also super helpful and nice. I had a single room and made the monumental decision to start watching the travel channel instead of the food network. I was apparently the only patient not watching the football game (Dallas, Denver maybe) which I believe made me a nurse favorite. Things were actually so slow on the floor they ended up sending my nurse home for the night. The next day I was cleared to leave by 8, took my antibiotic and had Melissa and Cori pick me up. I was home with all my meds by noon. They got me situated, stayed while I showered (yeah - being clean has some advantages) and then I just hung out at home for the afternoon/ evening.

Ellen arrived at 1 and we talked until about 2. It will be good to visit with her this week and I'm guessing I will need less tending than originally feared.


I am doing much better than I ever would have expected, in pretty good spirits, happy to have the surgery overwith and willing to officially let 2010 start. I even feel fairly lucid but you might be better judges of that.

I will try and update sporadically but will be trying to not be on the computer too much this week. (I think sitting and typing isn't totally great for me.)

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning and I hope I will get the drains out and will re-join the class of pants wearing people. I feel pretty good, can stand up relatively straight and not in too much pain.

Feel free to call or write.

Kim

Home again!

Hello dear readers,

Cori and I have just returned Kim to her home. (Excellent safe driving, Cori!)

Kim is doing wonderfully, and happy to be back in her place, with her fancy new chair. She also is eagerly awaiting Ellen's arrival this evening.

Kim was met by a beautiful box of chocolates from her friends at the Lincoln Institute.

Many thanks to all.

Melissa (BoSoxFox)