The x-rays came back this morning and I have a non-displaced fracture ... in my wrist. I kind of had the feeling that if anything cracked it may have been the wrist - it hurt first and is still achey. The blood pooling in the elbow made that more acute after the fall, but it seems more or less fine now. There's nothing to be done, except I'm probably staying away from weight-lifting activities for a little longer. I figure when I see a physical therapist, I can now get exercises for both arms.
As for my laptop, it works - sort of. I can log on, not see the advanced virus removal pop-ups :)but while I can access my work e-mail or facebook nothing shows up. I know I have messages but can't read them. Fun city. What this means to anyone trying to get in touch - e-mail me at gmail, call on my home number or expect slower response times in the short term. So I now have a barely functional computer and cell-phone. We could argue my possessions feel sympathy for me but the truth is they are taking the brunt of my spaciness/flakiness potentially treatment related. (The phone hasn't really recovered from the chicken soup bath.) I might go out and buy an i-phone this weekend. (How heavy are they?)
Otherwise, I'm actually feeling pretty good; not getting enough sleep but I'm being more active and have been walking to work about half the time in the swampland. Next week, I might even start exercising at a gym. We'll see.
I've been somewhat preoccupied trying to figure out September/October travel plans. There's a trip to the Bay Area Labor Day weekend that I might get permission to stay a couple of more days. Right now my last treatment (without boosts) is that Tuesday, but my doctor seemed to think taking a break wouldn't be terrible. Then I'm going to a conference in Brussels, I'm thinking of tacking on some extra days and trying to figure out where to go. (If I meet up with folks its probably somewhere I haven't been, if not probably Paris or London.)
I think I need to limit it to one other place - see discussion of non-functional arms above. I also made a reservation for 2 at a somewhat fancy restaurant my friend recommended in Brussels for Sunday night - so if you have any recommendations of people I should accost I'd take that info too.
In October, I think I'm going to the beach with some college friends. I'm hoping its warm enough to at least wade in the North Carolina water but we'll see.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Halfway through
Assuming I don't need any boosts, I just hit the midway point of radiation. I've had 14 treatments and it hasn't been that bad thus far (knock wood). The increased discomfort from radiation on my left side is being offset by the decreasing achiness in my right arm. I do feel somewhat like Frankenstein's monster - I have all the right parts but they are askew. My arms kind of hurt, chest is tight and hard and no, not in a good way like from exercise. But I seem to be doing okay. Last week, I attended some conferences and actually finished a draft of a paper (thank you Tracy), met friends for lunch and dinner and generally had a life.
This weekend after a fun dinner Friday night that probably went a little too late, my poor computer came down with spyware. Lesson: don't check e-mail while intoxicated. (Yes going a little too late is code for too much drinking.) If you get a message from advanced virus removal, make sure not to click on anything. I didn't click on the pop-up but did hit the icon in the corner by mistake. (It has windows colors.) I'm guessing it was the drink, bud suddenly I am down the rabbithole. Hopefully, my computer can be cleaned; it has been given over to professionals.
I did drive my car and went to the farmers' market on Sunday which was super-exciting and means I have a house full of fruits and vegetables. Otherwise, things are chugging along. I have enough trips planned in the near future to not be sad about being one of 10 people left in DC and
I'm hoping for a productive but mainly uneventful week.
This weekend after a fun dinner Friday night that probably went a little too late, my poor computer came down with spyware. Lesson: don't check e-mail while intoxicated. (Yes going a little too late is code for too much drinking.) If you get a message from advanced virus removal, make sure not to click on anything. I didn't click on the pop-up but did hit the icon in the corner by mistake. (It has windows colors.) I'm guessing it was the drink, bud suddenly I am down the rabbithole. Hopefully, my computer can be cleaned; it has been given over to professionals.
I did drive my car and went to the farmers' market on Sunday which was super-exciting and means I have a house full of fruits and vegetables. Otherwise, things are chugging along. I have enough trips planned in the near future to not be sad about being one of 10 people left in DC and
I'm hoping for a productive but mainly uneventful week.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
No death panels for me
So while I should be re-reading my paper on local tax options, I find myself obsessed with the mayhem which seems to be the healthcare debate. I don't think people protesting is a bad thing but the ridiculousness of the claims and allegations is preposterous. Yes, you have time to get all philosophical while laying on a table every morning getting zapped with radiation.
How did paying for optional counseling about end-of-life issues turn into mandatory meetings with death panels? Thus far every time I've been in the emergency room or hospital, I'm asked about whether I have an advanced directive, whether I want to have an advanced directive, whether I want to talk to someone about having an advanced directive and given I don't have an advanced directive what do I want them to do in terms of resuscitation and emergency care, in case things go horribly, horribly wrong. I always say I don't want them to get there and if they manage to put me in a vegetative state while getting my arm x-rayed I won't be happy and but I don't need extraordinary measures.
I've never felt like I was being pressured to say not to try and save my life, and I do understand why people don't want to think about these things. BUT doctors and staff ALREADY need to have this conversation so what we are talking about is paying for it. It is probably time for me to just fill out the paperwork because while I never want to think about these issues - having your wishes spelled out can't hurt.
My colleague Howard is more eloquent and has been thinking about end of life issues for a long time. If things are at a point where you can't answer these questions, it seems like having the option to have a conversation about what the different measures that may be taken would be a good thing.
Second set of crazy, how do people believe medicare isn't a government program? That's government money paying for your health insurance - yes you paid payroll taxes all those years but probably not enough to cover the actual cost of 40 years of health care. Are those protesting against a public option while saying it threatens medicare really not aware that this is a government run health insurance program? Maybe they think expansion to include others will make the program unsustainable. But current cost and demographic trends mean that current coverage levels of MEDICARE are already unsustainable. The option of maintaining current levels of coverage with the current costs and an aging population, while not increasing taxes isn't going to work.
I understand libertarians wanting government out of people's lives but the embracing of medicare (and yelling about any suggestion of cost containment) while rejecting the idea of other public programs seems a little nuts.
Third there is the whole idea that we will need to make hard choices and sometimes you don't want someone to get any possible treatment. Even if cost isn't an issue, medical treatment can be hugely unpleasant and a big pain in the ass (or in my case, the chest). This year hasn't been fun but dealing with discomfort and bad side effects is worth it if I figure it might be buying me another 40 years. If it was my 90 year old grandmother I wouldn't want her to put up with some of the stuff I've had to deal with. Of course, she has her own set of medical issues and a ton of pills to take.
Which gets us back to the whole question of what we want to do with respect to health care. It would be nice if the town halls going on throughout the country could involve actual conversation and debate of the pros and cons of different options. (Public option vs. co-ops for example) But that would mean ratcheting down the heat and letting people discuss the hard choices that are needed rather than just torpedoing the whole effort.
Personally, I am doing okay - I don't think my arm is broken but will need another x-ray to confirm this and seem to be handling the radiation and Boniva drug trial pretty well. Though the Boniva seems to make me sneeze 5 or 6 times in a row every morning.
Weird, medical questions are personal and hard and can be incredibly expensive. But in one way or another we as a society will need to figure this all out. Using facts to do this seems like a no-brainer but maybe that's the chemo talking.
How did paying for optional counseling about end-of-life issues turn into mandatory meetings with death panels? Thus far every time I've been in the emergency room or hospital, I'm asked about whether I have an advanced directive, whether I want to have an advanced directive, whether I want to talk to someone about having an advanced directive and given I don't have an advanced directive what do I want them to do in terms of resuscitation and emergency care, in case things go horribly, horribly wrong. I always say I don't want them to get there and if they manage to put me in a vegetative state while getting my arm x-rayed I won't be happy and but I don't need extraordinary measures.
I've never felt like I was being pressured to say not to try and save my life, and I do understand why people don't want to think about these things. BUT doctors and staff ALREADY need to have this conversation so what we are talking about is paying for it. It is probably time for me to just fill out the paperwork because while I never want to think about these issues - having your wishes spelled out can't hurt.
My colleague Howard is more eloquent and has been thinking about end of life issues for a long time. If things are at a point where you can't answer these questions, it seems like having the option to have a conversation about what the different measures that may be taken would be a good thing.
Second set of crazy, how do people believe medicare isn't a government program? That's government money paying for your health insurance - yes you paid payroll taxes all those years but probably not enough to cover the actual cost of 40 years of health care. Are those protesting against a public option while saying it threatens medicare really not aware that this is a government run health insurance program? Maybe they think expansion to include others will make the program unsustainable. But current cost and demographic trends mean that current coverage levels of MEDICARE are already unsustainable. The option of maintaining current levels of coverage with the current costs and an aging population, while not increasing taxes isn't going to work.
I understand libertarians wanting government out of people's lives but the embracing of medicare (and yelling about any suggestion of cost containment) while rejecting the idea of other public programs seems a little nuts.
Third there is the whole idea that we will need to make hard choices and sometimes you don't want someone to get any possible treatment. Even if cost isn't an issue, medical treatment can be hugely unpleasant and a big pain in the ass (or in my case, the chest). This year hasn't been fun but dealing with discomfort and bad side effects is worth it if I figure it might be buying me another 40 years. If it was my 90 year old grandmother I wouldn't want her to put up with some of the stuff I've had to deal with. Of course, she has her own set of medical issues and a ton of pills to take.
Which gets us back to the whole question of what we want to do with respect to health care. It would be nice if the town halls going on throughout the country could involve actual conversation and debate of the pros and cons of different options. (Public option vs. co-ops for example) But that would mean ratcheting down the heat and letting people discuss the hard choices that are needed rather than just torpedoing the whole effort.
Personally, I am doing okay - I don't think my arm is broken but will need another x-ray to confirm this and seem to be handling the radiation and Boniva drug trial pretty well. Though the Boniva seems to make me sneeze 5 or 6 times in a row every morning.
Weird, medical questions are personal and hard and can be incredibly expensive. But in one way or another we as a society will need to figure this all out. Using facts to do this seems like a no-brainer but maybe that's the chemo talking.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Oops
So just when things seem to be getting into a reasonable pattern - radiation every morning but limited numbers of tests and I picked up the drugs for the stage 3 study which just requires me taking a pill every morning.
I fall...
On my way to visit my friend in the hospital.
I kind of stumbled and then fell down - skinned my knees, and fell on my right arm. People were very nice and rushed over, after sitting for a bit I had people help me up. (I had been using my right arm to help stand up.) After cleaning myself up I figured I may as well head over to visit my friend -as I wasn't getting work done. After sitting for an hour (with an ice pack that her nurses thoughtfully gave me) I realized I couldn't unbend my arm. 3 hours and x-rays later the doctor gave me a sling didn't think I broke or dislocated anything - and my elbow was bruised and had some blood gathering. His diagnosis was to take motrin or naproxin to get the swelling down and percocet or oxycodone for breakthrough pain and keep my arm in the sling for 5 days to take the pressure off. Is it a bad response when a doctor asks you what you like taking for pain and you say you have a drawer full of pills so he should just tell you what he wants you to take?
BoSoxFox was upstairs visiting our friend (who should get her own nickname) and graciously took me home, took out my trash and most importantly moved my car into a Monday or Tuesday spot so I don't need to worry about street cleaning. It all might be my need to stay the center of attention - how can someone else be sick? It also might be a test to see how much BSF can take before either having a nervous breakdown or deciding she really needs a new (and healthier) set of friends.
On the upside I fell on my good arm - lord knows what would be happening if I landed on the arm without lymph nodes. Of course it also means I landed on my good arm - so suddenly my delicate left arm is having to do things like carry my purse and open things. This morning, I went to radiation, then cabbed over to Georgetown to pick up the drugs for the trial (Bonniva pills to take daily) and was home by 11. I have since spent most of the day in bed napping and reading.
Then I got a call from GW- it seems like after having someone else look at the x-ray it might be a non-displaced radial fracture that didn't show up as a definite break at the point where my arm bone meets the elbow. It means checking in with orthopedics - though when I called they didn't seem to have any appointments until September unless it is an emergency. I'm waiting for a call back tomorrow. My arm is actually feeling better now and unbending some (and I seem able to type with it). The person who called basically thought I should use the sling they gave me - be seen sometime next week and probably see a physical therapist. So now I'm guessing I can have range of motion exercises for each arm. My (ex)boss had a physical therapist he really liked and given he is off to Syracuse she might have an opening in her schedule.
On the upside - I do realize the humor and ridiculousness of it all, and a week into radiation my treatment seems to be going well. Apparently my life can't get too calm - but I'm much happier dealing with a bruised good elbow than other complications. I'm also thinking that taking the Boniva (the bone density drug) probably will be a good thing for my bones, though I might start Friday instead of tomorrow. (I have to take the pill with a glass of water and not take anything else for a half hour - depending on how I'm feeling I think taking the motrin in the morning might trump starting the trial a day earlier. )
Kim
PS Not sure I'm sharing this with my mother so for those of you related to me - try not to mention it.
I fall...
On my way to visit my friend in the hospital.
I kind of stumbled and then fell down - skinned my knees, and fell on my right arm. People were very nice and rushed over, after sitting for a bit I had people help me up. (I had been using my right arm to help stand up.) After cleaning myself up I figured I may as well head over to visit my friend -as I wasn't getting work done. After sitting for an hour (with an ice pack that her nurses thoughtfully gave me) I realized I couldn't unbend my arm. 3 hours and x-rays later the doctor gave me a sling didn't think I broke or dislocated anything - and my elbow was bruised and had some blood gathering. His diagnosis was to take motrin or naproxin to get the swelling down and percocet or oxycodone for breakthrough pain and keep my arm in the sling for 5 days to take the pressure off. Is it a bad response when a doctor asks you what you like taking for pain and you say you have a drawer full of pills so he should just tell you what he wants you to take?
BoSoxFox was upstairs visiting our friend (who should get her own nickname) and graciously took me home, took out my trash and most importantly moved my car into a Monday or Tuesday spot so I don't need to worry about street cleaning. It all might be my need to stay the center of attention - how can someone else be sick? It also might be a test to see how much BSF can take before either having a nervous breakdown or deciding she really needs a new (and healthier) set of friends.
On the upside I fell on my good arm - lord knows what would be happening if I landed on the arm without lymph nodes. Of course it also means I landed on my good arm - so suddenly my delicate left arm is having to do things like carry my purse and open things. This morning, I went to radiation, then cabbed over to Georgetown to pick up the drugs for the trial (Bonniva pills to take daily) and was home by 11. I have since spent most of the day in bed napping and reading.
Then I got a call from GW- it seems like after having someone else look at the x-ray it might be a non-displaced radial fracture that didn't show up as a definite break at the point where my arm bone meets the elbow. It means checking in with orthopedics - though when I called they didn't seem to have any appointments until September unless it is an emergency. I'm waiting for a call back tomorrow. My arm is actually feeling better now and unbending some (and I seem able to type with it). The person who called basically thought I should use the sling they gave me - be seen sometime next week and probably see a physical therapist. So now I'm guessing I can have range of motion exercises for each arm. My (ex)boss had a physical therapist he really liked and given he is off to Syracuse she might have an opening in her schedule.
On the upside - I do realize the humor and ridiculousness of it all, and a week into radiation my treatment seems to be going well. Apparently my life can't get too calm - but I'm much happier dealing with a bruised good elbow than other complications. I'm also thinking that taking the Boniva (the bone density drug) probably will be a good thing for my bones, though I might start Friday instead of tomorrow. (I have to take the pill with a glass of water and not take anything else for a half hour - depending on how I'm feeling I think taking the motrin in the morning might trump starting the trial a day earlier. )
Kim
PS Not sure I'm sharing this with my mother so for those of you related to me - try not to mention it.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
All aglow
Back from Caneel Bay. The trip was great and totally relaxing. I ended up snorkeling a lot, swimming some and basically hanging out on the beach. I read 2 books--both pretty trashy--and did manage to leave the grounds one night for dinner. In general things were good, I did have a Hitchcock moment the last day when a bird swooped down and stole a piece of bacon off my plate at breakfast, as I was carrying my plate. I swear he was then eyeing me for the rest of the meal, but maybe it was a sign I should cut out the processed meats. Later that morning we were in the water and probably 20 birds suddenly swarmed us - though in all likelihood they were more interested in the fish than me or Melissa. We were sad to leave and did manage to get splashed on the ferry ride back to St Thomas.
Thursday was a rude awakening from the trip, as I started radiation. So after swimming and laying on the beach for five days, I got to spend an hour trying to lie perfectly still on a table while people moved me around and drew on me with blue marker. I tried pretending I was still on the beach and that my lounge chair was maybe just not so comfortable.
Friday's zapping was much faster and less eventful. Indeed, I think it actually took them longer to blend my iced soy latte (at the Illy, not the hospital) than it took for me to get treatment while on the table.
I then went to work where it was the last day for my boss and another person I work with. I ended up cutting the teary goodbyes short because I called the American Cancer Society to see about getting fitted with something that could even me out. (Yes, the aftermath of looking at pictures made it quite clear how lopsided I currently am.) It turns out they do fittings on Friday until 2:30 and the office is 2 blocks from my house. I cut out of work at 1:30 and managed to get to ACS and they gave me a cotton puff that helps with symmetry and is pretty light.
I then headed home and actually took a nap. I'd blame the radiation, but I'm guessing it was much more likely due to general fatigue related to the trip, then headed out for dinner with some friends. I spent some time this afternoon with a friend who is having some gastro issues and needs to go into the hospital for antibiotics. If nothing else, this year has given me some expertise in hospital stays. I had all sorts of advice to give and opinions on what you should bring to the hospital and check in information. She's going to GW, so on the upside I can potentially stop in daily post-radiation.
Anyway, in happier news, my friend Lorien is getting married this weekend and my cousin Abby had her twins last weekend. Congratulations to all of you.
Friday's zapping was much faster and less eventful. Indeed, I think it actually took them longer to blend my iced soy latte (at the Illy, not the hospital) than it took for me to get treatment while on the table.
I then went to work where it was the last day for my boss and another person I work with. I ended up cutting the teary goodbyes short because I called the American Cancer Society to see about getting fitted with something that could even me out. (Yes, the aftermath of looking at pictures made it quite clear how lopsided I currently am.) It turns out they do fittings on Friday until 2:30 and the office is 2 blocks from my house. I cut out of work at 1:30 and managed to get to ACS and they gave me a cotton puff that helps with symmetry and is pretty light.
I then headed home and actually took a nap. I'd blame the radiation, but I'm guessing it was much more likely due to general fatigue related to the trip, then headed out for dinner with some friends. I spent some time this afternoon with a friend who is having some gastro issues and needs to go into the hospital for antibiotics. If nothing else, this year has given me some expertise in hospital stays. I had all sorts of advice to give and opinions on what you should bring to the hospital and check in information. She's going to GW, so on the upside I can potentially stop in daily post-radiation.
Anyway, in happier news, my friend Lorien is getting married this weekend and my cousin Abby had her twins last weekend. Congratulations to all of you.
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