It might be too soon but I need February to end. So much for my birth month being filled with presents and friends and delight. February has officially kicked my butt.
After thinking that maybe I was in for some smooth sailing - got over the steroid withdrawal, had a reasonable day yesterday - managed to not have to give blood twice in one week last week - I didn't feel great today. At about 11 I took my temperature which was 101.2. So apparently my fever is back. On the positive side - I don't feel terrible and having the fever happen during the day on Friday meant that I got to talk to my doctor and not some random oncology intern. It also meant she ordered more blood work (yes, yesterdays stick was too easy) and gave me a cipro prescription. I spent this afternoon having more blood work done - 4 vials from 2 different needle sticks. They did the same type of blood cultures 2 weeks ago in the ER on Valentine's day. The person taking my blood asked about any exotic trips I've taken or exposure to deer. Don't we think any malaria or Lyme disease would have shown up 2 weeks ago? Mainly my doctor wants to make sure they know what they are dealing with if anything comes up before my starting the cipro.
I am happy to have the blood work done even if a little skeptical that anything is going to show. If I have some bug hopefully the antibiotic will kill it once and for all and I can go forward. I don't know if it makes sense but I still think the fever is related to the taxol allergy. I feel not terrible besides the occasional fever.
Anyway - I'm hoping that March will be a better month-I also apologize to people for being pretty non-communicative I've been feeling beat up and mostly just burrowing in. Also talking on the phone will trigger the cough and I haven't had the energy.
As for February, next year better be filled with champagne, chocolates and possibly exciting trips to make up for this, otherwise I might have to officially change my birthday.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Good visit with the surgeon
After not seeing her for a while, I just met with my breast surgeon to talk about next steps. I originally scheduled the meeting when I thought I would be finished with chemo on March 19. The doctor thought the chemo did a good job and there was shrinkage - it is always heartwarming when surgeons express how much they love chemo. She thinks we are on target for me to have a lumpectomy. The next step is for me to have an mri after Chemo is over - and that is scheduled for April 6. Depending on what the MRI shows, I'm scheduled to have surgery on May 1. The assumption is that if the MRI shows something I would have an MRI or ultrasound guided wire put in for the surgery to remove what is found on the scan. If my scan is clear - the doctor will remove the area around my biopsy - my sentinel lymph nodes and we will check that the borders are clear.
There is a chance that the MRI would show that there is more cancer but both the oncologist and surgeon think the lumpectomy is probably the most likely option for surgery. :) Then if my margins are clear that will be the end. If the margins aren't clear it might mean new surgery but it was positive to hear that everyone believes that the chemo seems to have done its job and has shrunk the tumor. I'm trying hard not to give all the credit to the AC - though I gotta love the red poison and not discount the yew tree derivatives (taxol and taxotere).
So I'm hanging in there - the next steps are to do the next two chemo treatments, hopefully the taxotere will be nicer to me than plain old tazol, have an MRI and then ideally surgery at the beginning of May. Things can change but that seems what my current plan is.
I'm hoping that after coming down from the steroids from this past treatment tomorrow - I will have a couple of good weeks to focus on something besides chemo and cancer and maybe join the rest of the world in wondering how much money AIG and Citibank could have possibly lost over the last months.
There is a chance that the MRI would show that there is more cancer but both the oncologist and surgeon think the lumpectomy is probably the most likely option for surgery. :) Then if my margins are clear that will be the end. If the margins aren't clear it might mean new surgery but it was positive to hear that everyone believes that the chemo seems to have done its job and has shrunk the tumor. I'm trying hard not to give all the credit to the AC - though I gotta love the red poison and not discount the yew tree derivatives (taxol and taxotere).
So I'm hanging in there - the next steps are to do the next two chemo treatments, hopefully the taxotere will be nicer to me than plain old tazol, have an MRI and then ideally surgery at the beginning of May. Things can change but that seems what my current plan is.
I'm hoping that after coming down from the steroids from this past treatment tomorrow - I will have a couple of good weeks to focus on something besides chemo and cancer and maybe join the rest of the world in wondering how much money AIG and Citibank could have possibly lost over the last months.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
A New Normal
Just thought I'd report I am doing pretty well. I feel okay, I dd develop some blotchiness on my face and the rash was back on my hand but started taking the benadryl for a day and then began the steroids and things seem under control. Managed to spend most of the late morning and early afternoon out and about with Carol, my college roommate who was in from CA. I managed to buy some new clothes so may now have more clothes that fit - and may show up in something other than yoga pants. I do tend to be awfully cranky so people should be warned. Though I'm hoping with the less involved chemo schedule I will hopefully mellow out.
The face blotchiness seems permanently gone and in some ways watching the ebbs and flows of the rash on my arm (yesterday night I had a little on my left arm too) doesn't seem alarming and in my current state almost passes as entertainment and close to the new normal. Right now both arms look pretty clear and I am just feeling mellow - didn't sleep much last night.
I'm hopeful that after my few days of steroids maybe things will even out and being off until March 12 will be exciting. I'm guessing Wednesday will be a little rough when I'm off the steroids but i might try and wean and take a half a dose on Monday - though my appointment with the surgeon is Tuesday which might argue for using a full dose on Monday and weaning on Tuesday.
Hope people got out and had a good day - it was pretty nice here - went out for lunch with Carol who is now on her way back to CA.
Kim
The face blotchiness seems permanently gone and in some ways watching the ebbs and flows of the rash on my arm (yesterday night I had a little on my left arm too) doesn't seem alarming and in my current state almost passes as entertainment and close to the new normal. Right now both arms look pretty clear and I am just feeling mellow - didn't sleep much last night.
I'm hopeful that after my few days of steroids maybe things will even out and being off until March 12 will be exciting. I'm guessing Wednesday will be a little rough when I'm off the steroids but i might try and wean and take a half a dose on Monday - though my appointment with the surgeon is Tuesday which might argue for using a full dose on Monday and weaning on Tuesday.
Hope people got out and had a good day - it was pretty nice here - went out for lunch with Carol who is now on her way back to CA.
Kim
Friday, February 20, 2009
6 down- 2 to go
Hi, I had chemo 6 yesterday after meeting with my doctor. She was very sympathetic and we talked about options if there were problems with treatment - the main one being to switch to taxotere - a related drug that she likes less mainly due to the prevalence of side effects. The taxotere is every three weeks and requires pre-medication with the steroids - it also requires more steroids. That will be its own joy. She was willing to switch me this week if I was nervous but mentioned that allergic reactions the first round didn't neccessarily mean they would continue I figured I should give this a chance and see if it was just a bad first go round. My temp was 100 degrees downstairs but the doc wasn't concerned - i had foregone all meds in the morning - though taking the tylenol with codeine and an ativan a little later pretty much knocked me out all night.
We went up to chemo - they gave me extra streriods- two orally (8mg) to go with (10 mg) in the drip, benadryl in the drip and pepcid and then the taxol. Immediately as the taxol started coming in I commented on a funny taste in my mouth - it was so immediate I thought it must have been from the steriod but no my nurse said it probably was the drug. Things were okay for a little while -spoke to Carol kind of thumbed through a 6 month old magazine and tried to doze. About an hour or so in my head started feeling flushed, hot and clammy - people couldn't see it externally but i felt maybe feverish but it was weird it was mainly in my head and face. I also started feeling refluxy. The came by and took my temperature (which had been low 97 some degrees when i came up to the chemo lab) and it was back to over 99 degrees.
I left it for a while - Carol had gone out to get sandwiches -yes my one concession is I want fancier food than the free lunch at this point. I had her get some sort of non-chocolate snack (we had junior mints) and she came back with something gummy and jelly bellies which i was eating pretty constantly because of the taste in my mouth. About 2+ hours in none of the nurses were around and I sent Carol to find mine - not an emergency but thought I should at least tell them that my upper chest was feeling bad- refluxy and sour more than trouble breathing but it was getting sufficiently bothersome as was the fact that my head would keep feeling hot and flushy.
Well everyone came over (sadly no crash card in sight) to see what was happening before I had really said what was happening chemo was turned off - saline drip on - and vitals were being taken. I then explained what was happening - both sets of symptoms stopped as soon as the chemo was off interestingly. It seems amazing to me that things can change on a dime as quickly as they seemed to - certainly the funny taste disappeared and then the feeling in my chest lessened and went away - the head flushes were coming and going back and forth. We also called my doctor about what had happened - I did try and stress that while i thought i was having a reaction and it was in my chest area it didn't feel like a breathing thing but was more related to acid and the taste. They put a bad of saline in and then we restarted. The taste again came back almost immediately - it was a little metallicy but more bitter and just kind of icky. I must have made it 30 minutes and then the head flushes started coming back - its weird and not totally different than what I felt off and on with the fever last week, but it was strange that while the rest of me would feel warm it was so concentrated.
We stopped again - called it a day and the last 20 ml of taxol was deemed not enough to worry about. My doc called back- after discussion we are switching to the taxotere. In some ways I am nervous about what those symptoms will be like but I still need to see what this week brings. Friday morning last time was pretty easy so we'll see what the next few days will bring.
I am kind of excited about going back to 3 weeks between treatments - while spreading it out a little longer (treatments will be March 12 and April 2) I'm pretty excited about having more time off - after the last two treatments when it seemed like i was totally wiped and the caught a cold on the last AC and the first taxol hopefully having some time when i can feel somewhat normal will be good. April 2 is 2 weeks later than March 19 but in my mind still sort of counts as being done with treatment at the end of March and I'm guessing I can still have surgery mid/late April and be recovered for the conferences I have scheduled for late May.
Its still early in this rounds side effects and I am fully aware that some of this is the large amounts of steroids coursing through my body - but I feel pretty good this am.
Kim
PS And drum roll please - it is a very good day in that California passed a budget and I think the concessions made were actually a net positive. Love the demand for open primaries - this should push the republican and democtrat candidates back to what oh the median voter in a district would want rather than catering to the crazies (or sorry the fringe dedicated believers). It might even mean that the state republican party might talk to their sitting governor. More sad about the nixing of the increase in the gasoline tax - and while I probably would have leaned more o n the sales tax - having taxes that might start covering the shortfall with spending cuts is a good thing.
Oh and can we point out that even with the doubling of the car tax it is still 1/3 below where it would have been if they had just left the damn thing alone in the 1990s - what 2 boom/bust cycles ago.
We went up to chemo - they gave me extra streriods- two orally (8mg) to go with (10 mg) in the drip, benadryl in the drip and pepcid and then the taxol. Immediately as the taxol started coming in I commented on a funny taste in my mouth - it was so immediate I thought it must have been from the steriod but no my nurse said it probably was the drug. Things were okay for a little while -spoke to Carol kind of thumbed through a 6 month old magazine and tried to doze. About an hour or so in my head started feeling flushed, hot and clammy - people couldn't see it externally but i felt maybe feverish but it was weird it was mainly in my head and face. I also started feeling refluxy. The came by and took my temperature (which had been low 97 some degrees when i came up to the chemo lab) and it was back to over 99 degrees.
I left it for a while - Carol had gone out to get sandwiches -yes my one concession is I want fancier food than the free lunch at this point. I had her get some sort of non-chocolate snack (we had junior mints) and she came back with something gummy and jelly bellies which i was eating pretty constantly because of the taste in my mouth. About 2+ hours in none of the nurses were around and I sent Carol to find mine - not an emergency but thought I should at least tell them that my upper chest was feeling bad- refluxy and sour more than trouble breathing but it was getting sufficiently bothersome as was the fact that my head would keep feeling hot and flushy.
Well everyone came over (sadly no crash card in sight) to see what was happening before I had really said what was happening chemo was turned off - saline drip on - and vitals were being taken. I then explained what was happening - both sets of symptoms stopped as soon as the chemo was off interestingly. It seems amazing to me that things can change on a dime as quickly as they seemed to - certainly the funny taste disappeared and then the feeling in my chest lessened and went away - the head flushes were coming and going back and forth. We also called my doctor about what had happened - I did try and stress that while i thought i was having a reaction and it was in my chest area it didn't feel like a breathing thing but was more related to acid and the taste. They put a bad of saline in and then we restarted. The taste again came back almost immediately - it was a little metallicy but more bitter and just kind of icky. I must have made it 30 minutes and then the head flushes started coming back - its weird and not totally different than what I felt off and on with the fever last week, but it was strange that while the rest of me would feel warm it was so concentrated.
We stopped again - called it a day and the last 20 ml of taxol was deemed not enough to worry about. My doc called back- after discussion we are switching to the taxotere. In some ways I am nervous about what those symptoms will be like but I still need to see what this week brings. Friday morning last time was pretty easy so we'll see what the next few days will bring.
I am kind of excited about going back to 3 weeks between treatments - while spreading it out a little longer (treatments will be March 12 and April 2) I'm pretty excited about having more time off - after the last two treatments when it seemed like i was totally wiped and the caught a cold on the last AC and the first taxol hopefully having some time when i can feel somewhat normal will be good. April 2 is 2 weeks later than March 19 but in my mind still sort of counts as being done with treatment at the end of March and I'm guessing I can still have surgery mid/late April and be recovered for the conferences I have scheduled for late May.
Its still early in this rounds side effects and I am fully aware that some of this is the large amounts of steroids coursing through my body - but I feel pretty good this am.
Kim
PS And drum roll please - it is a very good day in that California passed a budget and I think the concessions made were actually a net positive. Love the demand for open primaries - this should push the republican and democtrat candidates back to what oh the median voter in a district would want rather than catering to the crazies (or sorry the fringe dedicated believers). It might even mean that the state republican party might talk to their sitting governor. More sad about the nixing of the increase in the gasoline tax - and while I probably would have leaned more o n the sales tax - having taxes that might start covering the shortfall with spending cuts is a good thing.
Oh and can we point out that even with the doubling of the car tax it is still 1/3 below where it would have been if they had just left the damn thing alone in the 1990s - what 2 boom/bust cycles ago.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Let's Shake Things Up
I decided it was time to change colors to try and shake things up. Not sure it is an attitude adjustment or a stab at letting the universe settle back down. In any case, while somewhat nervous about Thursday's treatment - I'm hoping that after its over this will all feel palpably closer to being done.
At least I'm hopeful that I won't have a fever next time.
On a side note - can someone go to Sacramento and just shake the Republicans - when did their job become to never pass taxes rather than to govern the state. How did the state get here? Yes they don't want to raise taxes but pledging never to raise taxes seems utterly and totally irresponsible. Can't they just grow up and take the needs of the state above them. Of course it seems like the republican talk radio guys are the problem.
How can anyone think having the economy shut down - laying off workers won't actually help the economy - shutting down infrastructure projects because you can't reach a budget.
Can we point out that even the Republican hero - Ronald Reagan raised taxes. Of course, dems aren't blameless - the whole state needs to be redistricted so that some of these districts are competitive and don't need to be beholden to the fringe element of each party.
At least I'm hopeful that I won't have a fever next time.
On a side note - can someone go to Sacramento and just shake the Republicans - when did their job become to never pass taxes rather than to govern the state. How did the state get here? Yes they don't want to raise taxes but pledging never to raise taxes seems utterly and totally irresponsible. Can't they just grow up and take the needs of the state above them. Of course it seems like the republican talk radio guys are the problem.
How can anyone think having the economy shut down - laying off workers won't actually help the economy - shutting down infrastructure projects because you can't reach a budget.
Can we point out that even the Republican hero - Ronald Reagan raised taxes. Of course, dems aren't blameless - the whole state needs to be redistricted so that some of these districts are competitive and don't need to be beholden to the fringe element of each party.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Which comes first: The blood count or the fever?
Spoke to Dorothy - my case manager - apparently my doctor thinks my fever is being caused by my very high blood count. So the shot to make sure my blood counts are high enough is clearly not needed when I get Taxol (what my doctor thought) but apparently the high blood count makes my body think I have an infection and is causing the fever. So no infection and I can take tylenol and more importantly the tylenol with codeine when needed over the next couple of days. The irony is that they are super worried about people on chemo having fevers because of worries of low blood counts (and not being able to fight infection) so the drugs to keep my blood counts high had driven me to the ER for constant checking.
In an effort to try and go back to an optimistic half-full kind of outlook I'll list the positive aspects of this all.
1) I apparently haven't had any of the traditional taxol side effects - no neuropathy, no bone pain. So maybe Thursdays treatment will be straightforward and this will be okay.
2) Going to the emergency room did get me the tylenol with codeine which hopefully will help me get rid of this cough once and for all and might in fact be the nicest Valentine's gift I've gotten in a while.
3) The taxol on Thursday is bound to whack my blood cell count some so that should get rid of the fever.
4) I apparently can make sense when feverish, as I seemed to do a good job at the conference I participated in on Friday.
Okay this might be reaching - I am pretty relieved that I don't have some infection that doesn't seem to end and it means that I don't have to basically start wearing a mask and avoiding all human contact.
In an effort to try and go back to an optimistic half-full kind of outlook I'll list the positive aspects of this all.
1) I apparently haven't had any of the traditional taxol side effects - no neuropathy, no bone pain. So maybe Thursdays treatment will be straightforward and this will be okay.
2) Going to the emergency room did get me the tylenol with codeine which hopefully will help me get rid of this cough once and for all and might in fact be the nicest Valentine's gift I've gotten in a while.
3) The taxol on Thursday is bound to whack my blood cell count some so that should get rid of the fever.
4) I apparently can make sense when feverish, as I seemed to do a good job at the conference I participated in on Friday.
Okay this might be reaching - I am pretty relieved that I don't have some infection that doesn't seem to end and it means that I don't have to basically start wearing a mask and avoiding all human contact.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Less specific birthday wishes - or how not to spend Valentine's Day
So apparently when wishing not to spend my birthday in the emergency room, I should have been a little broader - like say avoiding the ER for the whole month or at least a full week. My allergic reaction is fine and under control but sometime on Thursday I started running a low grade fever.
Thursday was in part a bad day because it was the day after the day I stopped taking steroids - the down side of the steroids is I crash. I was pretty spacy and out of it and my main activity was going to get blood work done - of course the only time I walk into the hospital and they don't take my temperature (and blood pressure and weight) is when I get my blood work done. I checked in with Dorothy my case manager who thought the rash looked good and I didn't feel hot and haven't run a fever at all.
That night I started feeling warm - took my temperature and it was 100.4 and 100.7 and was over 100 degrees for about a half hour. Being the rule follower I am and the fact that my book tells me to call for a fever of 100.4 or higher - I called in. The oncologist called me back - checked my blood work (which was done that afternoon) and said my counts were great (I had gotten a Neulestra shot which boosted my blood counts and had a white blood cell count of 50K.) That oncologist, thought it was nothing to worry about offered my a prescription for an antibiotic and seemed not at all concerned about the fact that i was supposed to go to a meeting the next day. I of course was nervous because I was talking at a conference.
I went to the conference, managed to do a good job in the presentation and made it through the day, saying things that seemed to make sense. I actually felt pretty good during the conference though the coughing was probably somewhat disruptive to others. That night I got home and ended up with a higher temperature of 101.0, called G-town again and the oncologist wouldn't even check my file or prior blood work and insisted she couldn't tell me anything and I should head to the er. At that point I mainly wanted permission to take some tylenol or a nyquil and go to sleep rather than spending Friday night at the ER.
I ended up ignoring the doctor and just taking some drugs and going to sleep. Partly - it seemed like she should at least be willing to look at my blood work - At that point I had blood work done 3 times in 7 days. I figured if I was still feverish Saturday I could go in during the day - which seemed like it would be less crazy than at night.
Well after sleeping off and on much of Saturday I ended up with a fever in the afternoon and after checking with a friend who is a doctor (out of state) who said it was worth getting checked out I headed to the emergency room.
Saturday afternoon wasn't very crowded at the ER and BoSoxFox came with me - the doctors and nurses and staff were very good and didn't seem to think it was nuts for me to come in. After more blood tests (from 2 different sources of my body) and a chest x-ray everything was fine. Of course I am a little worried of 3 hours spent in an emergency, even if not busy did have sick people. My white blood cell counts are 32,000 - still plenty high and I have permission to take tylenol (was given a prescription for tylenol with codeine -narcotics are good for coughs, who knew?) and now don't have to call in unless my temperature hits 101.5. I now have had blood drawn 4 times in 10 days - we should at least be able to make some pretty graphs.
Though do I have to worry about how much blood they are taking?
I also seem to have night sweats the last couple of nights - but it could all just mean that the chemo is causing some menopause-like side effects. The ironic thing is besides being tired from not sleeping particularly well what with the night sweats and all - I actually feel reasonably good. I understand they need to be vigilant but I do feel like I just used a lot of medical resources confirming that I seem to have some sort of infection but should be able to fight it. Of course this morning I started wondering whether the fever could just be another menopause like side effect rather than the cause of the night sweats.
I'm hoping now that I've moved on to the tylenol with codeine maybe the cough will go away and maybe this will all get back to normal. Apparently I could have used my other narcotic drug (which I was prescribed in case I had bone pain) to deal with the cough.
So we'll see what happens next, I'm hoping the fevers will stop.
Anyway - so I can give the Georgetown ER a thumbs up and to recap - I seem to have actually experienced none of the expected side effects of Taxol (bone pain or neuropathy).
Yet managed to get a rash and have a fever.
We'll see what the next treatment holds, though maybe I shouldn't be allowed to speak to the public if i stay on narcotics.
Thursday was in part a bad day because it was the day after the day I stopped taking steroids - the down side of the steroids is I crash. I was pretty spacy and out of it and my main activity was going to get blood work done - of course the only time I walk into the hospital and they don't take my temperature (and blood pressure and weight) is when I get my blood work done. I checked in with Dorothy my case manager who thought the rash looked good and I didn't feel hot and haven't run a fever at all.
That night I started feeling warm - took my temperature and it was 100.4 and 100.7 and was over 100 degrees for about a half hour. Being the rule follower I am and the fact that my book tells me to call for a fever of 100.4 or higher - I called in. The oncologist called me back - checked my blood work (which was done that afternoon) and said my counts were great (I had gotten a Neulestra shot which boosted my blood counts and had a white blood cell count of 50K.) That oncologist, thought it was nothing to worry about offered my a prescription for an antibiotic and seemed not at all concerned about the fact that i was supposed to go to a meeting the next day. I of course was nervous because I was talking at a conference.
I went to the conference, managed to do a good job in the presentation and made it through the day, saying things that seemed to make sense. I actually felt pretty good during the conference though the coughing was probably somewhat disruptive to others. That night I got home and ended up with a higher temperature of 101.0, called G-town again and the oncologist wouldn't even check my file or prior blood work and insisted she couldn't tell me anything and I should head to the er. At that point I mainly wanted permission to take some tylenol or a nyquil and go to sleep rather than spending Friday night at the ER.
I ended up ignoring the doctor and just taking some drugs and going to sleep. Partly - it seemed like she should at least be willing to look at my blood work - At that point I had blood work done 3 times in 7 days. I figured if I was still feverish Saturday I could go in during the day - which seemed like it would be less crazy than at night.
Well after sleeping off and on much of Saturday I ended up with a fever in the afternoon and after checking with a friend who is a doctor (out of state) who said it was worth getting checked out I headed to the emergency room.
Saturday afternoon wasn't very crowded at the ER and BoSoxFox came with me - the doctors and nurses and staff were very good and didn't seem to think it was nuts for me to come in. After more blood tests (from 2 different sources of my body) and a chest x-ray everything was fine. Of course I am a little worried of 3 hours spent in an emergency, even if not busy did have sick people. My white blood cell counts are 32,000 - still plenty high and I have permission to take tylenol (was given a prescription for tylenol with codeine -narcotics are good for coughs, who knew?) and now don't have to call in unless my temperature hits 101.5. I now have had blood drawn 4 times in 10 days - we should at least be able to make some pretty graphs.
Though do I have to worry about how much blood they are taking?
I also seem to have night sweats the last couple of nights - but it could all just mean that the chemo is causing some menopause-like side effects. The ironic thing is besides being tired from not sleeping particularly well what with the night sweats and all - I actually feel reasonably good. I understand they need to be vigilant but I do feel like I just used a lot of medical resources confirming that I seem to have some sort of infection but should be able to fight it. Of course this morning I started wondering whether the fever could just be another menopause like side effect rather than the cause of the night sweats.
I'm hoping now that I've moved on to the tylenol with codeine maybe the cough will go away and maybe this will all get back to normal. Apparently I could have used my other narcotic drug (which I was prescribed in case I had bone pain) to deal with the cough.
So we'll see what happens next, I'm hoping the fevers will stop.
Anyway - so I can give the Georgetown ER a thumbs up and to recap - I seem to have actually experienced none of the expected side effects of Taxol (bone pain or neuropathy).
Yet managed to get a rash and have a fever.
We'll see what the next treatment holds, though maybe I shouldn't be allowed to speak to the public if i stay on narcotics.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Steroids for the country?
Just a short post to report that things seem under control. Swelling of my hands is down - don't think I actually had any neuropathy and the rash - while still on my arm doesn't seem to be doing anything and isn't getting worse. I had a good day at work yesterday and spent much of the day thinking about what is going on with Stimulus in the Senate. I loved Obama's speech last night but I still want to shake them all and ask some of the Republicans what they think stimulus is if not spending.
The part that seemed like a no brainer to me in stimulus was the aid to states for current spending - keeping states from raising taxes or cutting spending (which means lower benefits or layoffs) seem like good first steps to keep governments from working at cross purposes. While they might have been better off doing this as general aid - putting it through the education and healthcare bills seemed like a reasonable way to allocate it so that it could actually take into account some differences in economic conditions and be somewhat targeted if not explicitly so.
But I like spending and it seems like a better way to get money out and spent.
Also so much of the tax credits that seem like they were put in to get Republicans on board seem poorly targeted and ineffective given the current state of business. Are tax credits really going to help much when banks and businesses are in the red? (There is a host of new tax credits for muni debt in the bill.) And the change in the housing credit - which lets anyone take it, not just new homebuyers, takes away refundability and income limits simply gives even more incentive for richer people to invest in housing. Part of our current problems in housing might be due to the fact that the tax code already favors housing over other investment so explicitly.
Not sure how effective I'm being at work but thinking about these things keeps me busy. The current issues on my mind both now and longer term is what we are going to do for the economy and then what it all means for whether when we should rethink the whole federal-state-local relationship. Federal funds are generally given out in ways that on net aren't related to state overall needs due to the myriad of programs and while states have control of budgets and funding priorities - underlying economic conditions play a huge part in differences across the country and maybe we should be restructuring either annual funds or set things up for downturns. As a country we are going to need to think about where we are going and there is going to need to be tax increases and spending cuts in the future to bring things into balance. Much of this predates and may have helped cause the current problems.
We need to act like grownups but I hope that doesn't mean forgetting about people who are suffering and not able to afford food or heat. During all of my health issues I remain fundamentally grateful and aware about how lucky I am to have both good health insurance, a secure job and supportive environment to be going through this. So many others are worse off.
Yes this is a little too wonky and I need to shower and go to work - but I'm hoping even if rambly the fact that I am focussed on how much in the red the country is and will be rather than the red on my body will be encouraging and a sign that things are on track. (Again it may all be the steroids - maybe we should rename stimulus as steroids for the country but that may only get me and the ballplayers on board.)
The part that seemed like a no brainer to me in stimulus was the aid to states for current spending - keeping states from raising taxes or cutting spending (which means lower benefits or layoffs) seem like good first steps to keep governments from working at cross purposes. While they might have been better off doing this as general aid - putting it through the education and healthcare bills seemed like a reasonable way to allocate it so that it could actually take into account some differences in economic conditions and be somewhat targeted if not explicitly so.
But I like spending and it seems like a better way to get money out and spent.
Also so much of the tax credits that seem like they were put in to get Republicans on board seem poorly targeted and ineffective given the current state of business. Are tax credits really going to help much when banks and businesses are in the red? (There is a host of new tax credits for muni debt in the bill.) And the change in the housing credit - which lets anyone take it, not just new homebuyers, takes away refundability and income limits simply gives even more incentive for richer people to invest in housing. Part of our current problems in housing might be due to the fact that the tax code already favors housing over other investment so explicitly.
Not sure how effective I'm being at work but thinking about these things keeps me busy. The current issues on my mind both now and longer term is what we are going to do for the economy and then what it all means for whether when we should rethink the whole federal-state-local relationship. Federal funds are generally given out in ways that on net aren't related to state overall needs due to the myriad of programs and while states have control of budgets and funding priorities - underlying economic conditions play a huge part in differences across the country and maybe we should be restructuring either annual funds or set things up for downturns. As a country we are going to need to think about where we are going and there is going to need to be tax increases and spending cuts in the future to bring things into balance. Much of this predates and may have helped cause the current problems.
We need to act like grownups but I hope that doesn't mean forgetting about people who are suffering and not able to afford food or heat. During all of my health issues I remain fundamentally grateful and aware about how lucky I am to have both good health insurance, a secure job and supportive environment to be going through this. So many others are worse off.
Yes this is a little too wonky and I need to shower and go to work - but I'm hoping even if rambly the fact that I am focussed on how much in the red the country is and will be rather than the red on my body will be encouraging and a sign that things are on track. (Again it may all be the steroids - maybe we should rename stimulus as steroids for the country but that may only get me and the ballplayers on board.)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Birthday update
So apparently the key to having birthday wishes come true is to aim low and make it for something speedy. I was able (I think) to get my birthday wish from Saturday night which was basically to stay out of the emergency room and be able to go see Milk and go to dinner. All of the above happened - though I did demand candles with my profiteroles at dinner so I could make more b-day wishes that would take longer than a day to come true.
That's all a rambling way of saying - my birthday was fun and fairly uneventful in a good way - Milk was great and people should see it if you haven't already and I'm feeling pretty good, though ready for bed.
That's all a rambling way of saying - my birthday was fun and fairly uneventful in a good way - Milk was great and people should see it if you haven't already and I'm feeling pretty good, though ready for bed.
Happy Birthday to Me
So maybe I was premature in announcing Taxol as being no big deal. I started Friday feeling pretty good and was doing pretty well. By Friday afternoon/evening some of my fingers on my right hand seemed achy and hurt some and my elbows hurt and felt tender. The sensation wasn't terrible but felt like I needed to moisturize. I figured it was some neuropathy and I'd have to pay attention but there was not much to do. Apparently I didn't notice that things were swollen.
I went to G-town the next morning to get a shot to boost my blood counts - usually a 20 minute visit where I am in and out. Well, while waiting for the Neulestra shot we talked about my hands and she mentioned I should wear gloves as the cold could make it worse. I mentioned that the cold seemed to help with my right ring finger which was most affected. She asked me about buttoning things and ability to do things - so I put my sweater on and buttoned it. When I went to take it off I had a lovely rash on my arm. I got the neulestra shot and she paged the oncologist on call. So much for only having allergic reactions at the time of treatment.
I think the swelling and rash are an allergic reaction. Maybe this means I won't have nerve damage but the doctor prescribed a benadryl and then when we noticed my face was getting a little blotchy and she put me back on steroids. They also took more blood to run some tests and I left to pick up prescriptions about 12:15.
On the positive side, if my body needs to react funkily it was fortunate to have it happen when I was at the hospital rather than home and trying to figure out how serious it was and whether a trip to the hospital was warranted. Though driving while drugged was a little interesting - I do have a new favorite CVS - the one on Wisconsin and O that has the advantage of parking and the pharmacists seem very nice (as does the parking attendants).
Things seemed to calm down after the neds and while the rash hasn't gone away it hasn't gotten worse and doesn't itch. I went home and slept - having my upstairs neighbors check in when their kids woke up from their nap. They also offered to hook me up to t eir baby monitor. Apparently, I fluctuate between being a toddler and feeling like I'm 80 and obsessing over my bodily functions. Of course maybe it is all the same thing.
I ended up resting then going to my boss' house for dinner - Thanks Len - it was delicious even if I was spacy. The upside of chemo is that basically any actions I take - even if it is getting less blotchy or swollen is taken as a big accomplishment. It might be a little sad next year when people expect more of me than the equivalent of walking and chewing gum (a skill I might not currently have) but I look forward to it.
Anyway - dinner was fun and the night was uneventful. I invited BoSoxFox to spend the night and she got to babysit me for the night - except for my waking up every hour or so from the steroid and waving my hands around to get the fluid moving - not much went on. (You should be humming - put your hands in the air like you don't care - from Word Up by Cameo to get the full experience. ) Its 3 am time to sit up and start shaking my extremeties.
If today's current plan of a 4 o'clock movie (Milk) and dinner afterward comes off I will count it as a good birthday.
My plan is to celebrate on August 8 on my half birthday - when cocktails of a different nature can be featured.
Anyway - I am doing pretty well - in a post benadryl-steroid induced mood - mellow but somewhat alert.
I'm guessing there will be some change to treatment next time - either more drugs beforehand, a switch to weekly taxol or a swapping of taxotere (a related drug) for taxol.
Yesterday was more eventful than expected but any day that ends with brownies that were as good as the one's Len made can't be all bad.
I went to G-town the next morning to get a shot to boost my blood counts - usually a 20 minute visit where I am in and out. Well, while waiting for the Neulestra shot we talked about my hands and she mentioned I should wear gloves as the cold could make it worse. I mentioned that the cold seemed to help with my right ring finger which was most affected. She asked me about buttoning things and ability to do things - so I put my sweater on and buttoned it. When I went to take it off I had a lovely rash on my arm. I got the neulestra shot and she paged the oncologist on call. So much for only having allergic reactions at the time of treatment.
I think the swelling and rash are an allergic reaction. Maybe this means I won't have nerve damage but the doctor prescribed a benadryl and then when we noticed my face was getting a little blotchy and she put me back on steroids. They also took more blood to run some tests and I left to pick up prescriptions about 12:15.
On the positive side, if my body needs to react funkily it was fortunate to have it happen when I was at the hospital rather than home and trying to figure out how serious it was and whether a trip to the hospital was warranted. Though driving while drugged was a little interesting - I do have a new favorite CVS - the one on Wisconsin and O that has the advantage of parking and the pharmacists seem very nice (as does the parking attendants).
Things seemed to calm down after the neds and while the rash hasn't gone away it hasn't gotten worse and doesn't itch. I went home and slept - having my upstairs neighbors check in when their kids woke up from their nap. They also offered to hook me up to t eir baby monitor. Apparently, I fluctuate between being a toddler and feeling like I'm 80 and obsessing over my bodily functions. Of course maybe it is all the same thing.
I ended up resting then going to my boss' house for dinner - Thanks Len - it was delicious even if I was spacy. The upside of chemo is that basically any actions I take - even if it is getting less blotchy or swollen is taken as a big accomplishment. It might be a little sad next year when people expect more of me than the equivalent of walking and chewing gum (a skill I might not currently have) but I look forward to it.
Anyway - dinner was fun and the night was uneventful. I invited BoSoxFox to spend the night and she got to babysit me for the night - except for my waking up every hour or so from the steroid and waving my hands around to get the fluid moving - not much went on. (You should be humming - put your hands in the air like you don't care - from Word Up by Cameo to get the full experience. ) Its 3 am time to sit up and start shaking my extremeties.
If today's current plan of a 4 o'clock movie (Milk) and dinner afterward comes off I will count it as a good birthday.
My plan is to celebrate on August 8 on my half birthday - when cocktails of a different nature can be featured.
Anyway - I am doing pretty well - in a post benadryl-steroid induced mood - mellow but somewhat alert.
I'm guessing there will be some change to treatment next time - either more drugs beforehand, a switch to weekly taxol or a swapping of taxotere (a related drug) for taxol.
Yesterday was more eventful than expected but any day that ends with brownies that were as good as the one's Len made can't be all bad.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Taxol wasn't so bad; or steroids always help
Sorry to take so long between postings but the last week was kind of hard. After I finished taking the anti-nausea drugs last Monday by Wednesday felt bad and had some mouth issues and a ton of fatigue and was feeling down about stuff. Basically the last AC treatment kicked my butt a fair amount. On the positive side, after my doctor's visit today it seems the last AC also seemed to affect the tumor - its much harder to feel and get a sense of its dimensionality which probably means a fair amount of shrinkage.
Either what was happening in my mouth or what i finally realized was a new cold was causing a lot of phlegm and a fair amount of triggering of my gag reflex - so for the first time I had some nausea and some spitting up.
Happily the taxol treatment (or more likely the steroid, Benadryl and Pepcid given before the Taxol) seem to have had a positive effect on the funny taste in my mouth, my cold and sneezing and coughing and have generally perked me up, and I'm generally feeling much better. The mian down side was that treatment was long. Tracy came with me and I wasn't much fun. The Benadryl and my general anxiety made me less fun and then i slept and was generally spacy. It was great to have her with me even if no inappropriate words were shouted out.
Reports are Taxol is easier on the system and there are also no mandated drugs to take in the days afterward. I did take an atavan to hopefully lead to my going to sleep at some point tonight - yes the down side to the steroid. We'll see how the weeks progress.
I am happy to have gone through it and see what the pattern of the two weeks will look like with Taxol - possibly side effects can include some neuropathy (tingling/pain in feed or hands) and joint pain. The joint pain would be handled with pain relievers - starting with tylenor, advil or alleve but if needed I have some narcotics. (oxycodone) though if my past is any indication - the pills most likely will be thrown out after they expire. (I did this with percocet and others for prior procedures.)
Anyway - I'll try and write more in the next couple of days.
Kim
Either what was happening in my mouth or what i finally realized was a new cold was causing a lot of phlegm and a fair amount of triggering of my gag reflex - so for the first time I had some nausea and some spitting up.
Happily the taxol treatment (or more likely the steroid, Benadryl and Pepcid given before the Taxol) seem to have had a positive effect on the funny taste in my mouth, my cold and sneezing and coughing and have generally perked me up, and I'm generally feeling much better. The mian down side was that treatment was long. Tracy came with me and I wasn't much fun. The Benadryl and my general anxiety made me less fun and then i slept and was generally spacy. It was great to have her with me even if no inappropriate words were shouted out.
Reports are Taxol is easier on the system and there are also no mandated drugs to take in the days afterward. I did take an atavan to hopefully lead to my going to sleep at some point tonight - yes the down side to the steroid. We'll see how the weeks progress.
I am happy to have gone through it and see what the pattern of the two weeks will look like with Taxol - possibly side effects can include some neuropathy (tingling/pain in feed or hands) and joint pain. The joint pain would be handled with pain relievers - starting with tylenor, advil or alleve but if needed I have some narcotics. (oxycodone) though if my past is any indication - the pills most likely will be thrown out after they expire. (I did this with percocet and others for prior procedures.)
Anyway - I'll try and write more in the next couple of days.
Kim
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