Welcoming 2010

Happy new year to you all and thanks again for all your support during the past year (actually 15 months). I'm trying hard not to obsess over my surgery next week but at some point I might need to just accept my nature. In my defense, even when I read everything on the web and chat groups, I do have enough rational thought left to take it all with a grain of salt.

I haven't gotten organized or done nearly all the things I had wanted to get done before surgery on Thursday but I'm letting it go. Of course I've tried getting organized in prior years and failed so I guess I should just accept that cancer isn't going to magically make me a more orderly person. I'm still hoping to get some things checked off my to do list and in a more orderly fashion.

Today, I am waiting to get a recliner/lift chair I ordered and I'm hoping it helps with my recovery and it isn't the ugliest piece of furniture I've ever seen. It has infinite positions, heat and massage and will actually dump me out of the chair if needed. Yes I might actually be 80 years old. My current thought is that if it is too ugly and I can come up with a reasonable story about why I have it, I might be able to give it to my grandmother sometime.


(Of course, she doesn't know I have breast cancer, or that my mother did or I think that I had back surgery.) I'm guessing if we decide to haul it to Brooklyn the likely story should involve my back problems. Of course I think my parents might prefer if I treated them the same way - and didn't feel a need to be out in the open with everything. I am willing to pretend that the surgery will be next month or later this month and keeping the date vague. I'm not telling them about the surgery happening until AFTER the surgery. For those of you related to me, no comments to them until next weekend. Apparently this is what siblings are for.

I am excited to have the surgery done, if nervous about it. Getting the expander out is part of the attraction as it is hard and fairly uncomfortable and I will be excited to have this main surgery behind me and start getting rid of the plastic bits currently in my body.

As for New Year's resolutions. I have a number of things I'd like to do in 2010 but I'm postponing any actions until February. Maybe I can start a trend of having New Year's resolutions start late - think about how much less crowded the gym would be if we stagger resolutions. I will just think of them as birthday resolutions. Because, unlike last year I've decided not to suspend my birthday this year.

I promise to work on my misguided notions about redefining time in February with the rest of the birthday resolutions.