Perspective and good doctors' visits

I had a good day on Thursday - good appointments with my doctors - I seem to be eligible to see about qualifying for a stage 3 trial that examines the use of drugs that build bone density. These are drugs used to prevent osteoperosis and they are checking if taking lowers the probability of breast cancer metastasizing into bones (the first place breast cancer will typically metastacisize(sp?) to. (This is what happened to Elizabeth Edwards.) I have a bone scan test tuesday and then a ct scan once back from st john and if results good can enter study.

My visit with the plastic surgeon also went well and my expander was expanded. This has evened me out somewhat though i might want one more fill - to try and get more symmetry. In general recovery has been okay and on the positive side expansion can happen during radiation (the markings and measurements are for below where any expansion occurs so will not be effected). Given they want to do the more involved DIEP tissue transfer reconstruction surgery they have the expander expanded far enough out for their purposes - which was to protect the skin. Scary how much saggier i am naturally than on the expanded side. Implants seem to fail and harden more once radiation is involved and the symmetry question is an issue.

Thursday's expansion has caused some discomfort and i am back temporarily on pain meds (percocet is my friend). We had a going away party for my boss on Thursday afternoon which seemed to go very well, despite or because of the presence of pain pills. I got to emcee and the party was the right mix of funny (snow theme) and making a little bit of fun of him and touching.
Len is a great guy and the vision behind the TPC and has been a terrific boss.

Last week I also spent time figuring out long term disability rules - which I am finally apparently eligible for and on as part of a program that allows one to work part time. I can work up to 75% given salary changes and can maintain eligibility to retrigger coverage if have other event in 6 months. Given the timing of radiation and then surgery (and more surgery) understanding the rules is key. Realistically between being tired, and all the doctor's visits I haven't gotten much actual work done so the 75% rate hasn't been a constraint. I'm hoping once I'm done with setting things up and on a radiation schedule work will become more of a regular activity.

In other news - I saw the new Harry Potter film yesterday (really liked it) and then Indian food for dinner with friends which was really fun and it was a beautiful day in DC. I was home and asleep by 9:00 though seemed to wake up every 90 minutes and wrote an original version of most of this at 2am. Took an ativan and nuprin at 4am and went to sleep for a longer period.

And now for a bit of perspective - I spent time Friday evening trying on bathing suits before the trip to Caneel Bay, and despite being 10-15 lbs heavier and in less good shape (back to the whole saggier issue) than I was last year, I thought I didn't look so bad. In fact was actually more happy with how the bathing suits looked than I was last year. Of course, with the scarring, and short hair and lopsidedness - the flab is the least of my concerns. Of course I've also come to terms I won't be picking anyone up on this trip (unlike of course all my prior vacations :) ).

So my friends, it is all about perspective. Tomorrow I meet with the radiation oncologist and ideally find out what the schedule for markings and zapping will be and then Tuesday I have an appointment for the bone scan, and with my plastic surgeon - the original one who will be in charge of reconstruction, my goal is to leave the plastic surgeon's office with a date (far in the future but definite) for reconstruction. I'm also hoping to meet with the nurse organizing the bone study. So while there's a shot I'll get some work done towards the end of the week it might not happen. (If they decide that having me in for my evaluation meeting so my doctor can decide the angles and possibly mark me this week that would be my highest priority.)

Now I'm spending time organizing my papers and possibly my clothes.

Peace out

Kim

PS I've decided that when i am in recovery mode from the diep surgery i will reread all the Harry Potter books - that is of course if they don't exceed the gallon of milk weight limit :).

PPS I am now on facebook if anyone wants "friending" let me know - I probably will take some pictures with me in them in St John so probably will disclose my breast cancer and this blog to a more public group then.